


Please be Ok, I love you

by ZacharyRob37



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:07:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23032201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZacharyRob37/pseuds/ZacharyRob37
Summary: Based on the events of S1E8 where TK gets shot. Begins during Episode 8, ends before episode 9. Carlos is planning to tell TK he loves him, but TK is shot Michelle helps Carlos realize how much he and TK truly have in common. We also get a first glimpse into Carlos’s past and his insecurities.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes & Owen Strand, Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Michelle Blake & Carlos Reyes, Ronen Rubinstein/Rafael Silva
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

Part 1:  
(Part 1 is Entirely Carlos’ POV)-

After the emotion of comforting his best friend Michelle over her sister Iris’s apparent death the day before, Officer Carlos Reyes was glad that today’s shift, March 2nd, 2020, had been easy for him and it was almost over for the night. Other than a belligerent man harassing children at Colony Park, his shift had been very uneventful. Although he liked order, Carlos also usually liked having very eventful shifts, but seeing how numbly broken Michelle was after finding out about Iris, he just felt completely drained. Whenever he thought about people feeling numb, he always related it back to TK.

He felt such love in his heart for TK and just wanted to give him everything he could possibly give, especially after finding out about his past that night 2 months ago at the station. He wanted to make TK feel what he never felt before, wanted to be with him forever, and wanted to tell him that he is perfect just the way he is, and that he IS worthy of love and IS enough, to rid him of that numbness. TK was his tiger, but Carlos was scared, he loved TK, and that love was growing with each time they saw each other. He could not get TK out of his thoughts. He knew that TK also felt something for him, but was it also love?

TK had told him that night at the station that he wasn’t ready to pursue a full-blown relationship after the events in New York with his ex and the relapsing with substances. Carlos understood and respected that, but couldn’t help but wonder if TK was ready now. He’d wait forever for him either way. They’d now had multiple dates, but Carlos had yet to confess how strongly he felt about TK in fear of ruining what they already had or being rejected. He thought about how defeated and horrible he felt that night at his house when he tried too soon to cook dinner for TK and he got rejected. Carlos too knew rejection all too well from both his family and past relationships. He never wanted to feel that way again.

Carlos’s therapist had told him at one point that he’s a fixer at heart, and that was why he is the way he is. Loyal to a fault. Always trying to see the good in others, even when they weren’t worthy. That often led Carlos to be rejected by others. That was the original reason he decided to become a police officer, to escape those feelings and to have a community-oriented job where he wouldn’t feel rejected again. While that was the original reason, Carlos knew, even back when he was just a few weeks into the job that he would not trade his job for anything..ok, maybe one thing now, to be with TK because he cared so deeply for him and wanted to protect him.

A loud voice startled him out of his thoughts. It was Grace from dispatch over the radio. 3-6-3-H-20, come in.  
He picked up the radio-

“This is Officer Reyes” he replied quickly

“Officer, how close are you to 7th and Channel?” she asked

“Close” he said

“Ok, we got a possible 10-62, a home invasion, on 843 Channel. Homeowner is Bruce Ackerman, 46, proceed with caution”.

“10-4” he said as he quickly made a U-turn

Bree, his assigned partner turned on the siren and light-bar. To be honest, he forgot he was with someone else because he was so caught up in his thoughts.

“Hey, sorry I haven’t been more social today, I got a lot on my mind right now.” he told her

“Oh you’re fine, I get it, you’re probably still thinking about poor Michelle. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.”

“Yeah” he replied, knowing good and well that this time, Michelle’s loss wasn’t what...who... was distracting him. 

When they arrived, the person at the house was not Bruce, it was his wife Amy who was very concerned about him.

“Did you find him?” she desperately questioned.

“Find who? The intruder?” Carlos asked

“No, my husband, Bruce! He’s been missing all day. He’s got early onset Alzheimer’s and I’ve been so worried!”

Carlos was astonished. He quickly grabbed the radio from his car, extending the coiled cord as close to the house as he could.

“Dispatch, negative on 10-62 at this location. The caller Bruce Ackerman was reported missing by his wife at 3:00 this afternoon. Subject of a silver alert, Mr. Ackerman suffers from early onset dementia. His wife says sometimes he wanders off, though he’s never been gone this long before.”

Just then, Carlos heard Grace talking to someone else at dispatch. 

She then asked “Officer Reyes, is Mrs. Ackerman with you?”

“Yes”

“Ok, ask her if 1940 Birchwood Avenue means anything to her”.

“Mrs. Ackerman, does the address 1940 Birchwood Avenue mean anything to you?”

“Yeah” Amy said, appearing astonished “that’s our old address. It’s been almost 15 years since we’ve lived there though, did he wander off to there?” She pleaded

“It appears so” Carlos replied

After talking to Grace a bit more, Carlos found out that Bruce had broken in to his old house on a confused rampage and had a knife. Apparently the current owners were huddled in the bedroom with their grandson and had a gun. Carlos feared that this could take a very bad turn so he abruptly ran back towards the car.

“I have to come with you. He’s probably scared as hell!” Amy said, appearing to fight back her tears

“Ok, hop in the back” he replied

They quickly arrived at the Ackerman’s old house where Bruce was slowly walking out with his hands up, having been talked off a ledge by Grace on the phone.  
His wife ran up to him and hugged him while continuously saying “It’s ok, we found you!”

Carlos looked at them, looked at Bree, and then thought to himself, ‘THIS. THIS is why I do this job’. He then noticed the sound of fire truck sirens getting louder. Fire and EMS had arrived on scene...TK had arrived. But why were they there?  
He heard Michelle’s familiar voice over the radio and saw the whole team of 126 walking towards the house.

“Possible cardiac event” Michelle said as she and Owen made their way to the front door. 

‘It must be the homeowners’ he thought to himself as he helped Bruce and Amy into the backseat of the car.  
He then saw TK walking behind the crew, dropped what he was doing, and took notice of the way TK lit up the whole street by just existing. Carlos just wanted to reach out and tell him how much he loved him and that he wanted to pursue a real relationship with him. That he’d never hurt him like Alex did.  
Oh god, he looked so tough and hot carrying that door ram up the porch steps.

—“You know I’m holding a dart”

“And I’m packing a piece”

“That’s hot”—  
He thought back to that night on their first official date and how far they’d come since then.

‘What are you afraid of?’ He asked himself  
Continuing, he told himself ‘Just tell him you love him. Tell him you want to be his boyfriend and you’ll never leave his side beca—’

*BANG*

The unmistakable sound of gunshots. Son of a bitch, THE GUN! The homeowners had a gun! He forgot!

“Stay there!” he told Bruce and Amy as he drew his own gun and ran into the house with Bree.

He had been trained to deal with just about everything, from violence to hysterical people to tear gas to a freaking bull in a car, but nothing prepared Carlos for what he saw when he turned that corner into the hallway.

TK was on the floor at the end of the hall, his dark uniform completely drenched in blood. Blood seemed to be coming from everywhere and he was violently coughing.

Carlos’s world stopped completely. His legs felt like they were about to give out and he began to see spots behind his eyes. When he heard the gunshot, he never imagined that it would have been TK that got shot. TK was shot. His TK. His beautiful, kind, and adorable TK. Carlos stood completely still, in shock, and then he heard Michelle yelling...

“TIM! GILLIAN! BRING THE STRETCHER! WE NEED TO GET HIM TO THE AMBULANCE NOW!”  
In his whole time knowing Michelle, he had never heard her usually tranquil and peaceful voice sound so loud and so terrified.

Tim and Gillian arrived with the stretcher. Judd, Paul, Marjan, and Mateo all quickly filed out of the house as TK continued to cough like an elderly smoker. Carlos, still in shock, realized that the bullet must have hit his lungs at the same time Michelle said  
“It’s hit his lung, his lung is collapsing. He’s losing a lot of blood fast. We need to put pressure on the wound on our way out”.  
She began to cut TK’s uniform off. TK’s usually perfect and toned body, something Carlos had eagerly explored in the past, was bloody and unrecognizable. It didn’t even look like his body. 

Carlos finally hit reality and ran as fast as he could down the hall toward TK, who was being put on the stretcher as he hacked up blood. Carlos stood right in front of the stretcher, petrified and shocked.

“Carlos, we need to get him to the ambulance. You need to let us go.” Michelle said

“But..but...”

“I know” she said “the only way to save him is to get him to the hospital, you need to get out of our way, Carlos.” she said, Owen was next to her with a puzzled look through the tears that were exuding from his face for his son.

“I can’t leave him...I have to tell him tha—“

“Please Carlos. You won’t get to tell him anything unless we get him out of here.” She said with a concerned face

Carlos reluctantly moved out of the way and Gillian brought the sides of the stretcher up, preparing to wheel TK out.

Michelle continued, “TK, sweetie, can you hear me? It’s Michelle. You’ve been shot, we’re going to have to put pressure on the bullet wound, ok?”

TK frantically tried to lift his head and was saying something as he coughed up blood onto Michelle’s uniform. Carlos couldn’t make it out but Michelle seemed stunned, she looked up at Carlos, and then all of the sudden, TK stopped coughing altogether and was nearly still.

“You guys, he’s hemorrhaging, we need to get him out of here now.”

This couldn’t be happening. He had to tell TK how he felt! Michelle and her crew wheeled TK out, his bloody body completely lacking any sign of life, pale as a ghost, and with a single tear slowly falling down his face. Carlos was still in shock and couldn’t do anything but sit and stare numbly. 

Owen was walking right next to the stretcher, in tears, still saying “It’s gonna be ok. You’re ok. You’re gonna be fine” with his voice breaking every third word. Michelle flashed him a look as she walked by. That look meant something, but Carlos felt numb. He just stared blankly at her.

The next five minutes felt like a slow-motion blur. He watched as EMS put TK into the ambulance and Owen came in behind them, he tried to listen as Michelle told her team “his pulse is very weak. We’re going to have to—“  
she kept talking but her voice was cut out of his earshot by the closing of the ambulance doors.

As he heard the sirens, Carlos finally felt the shock dissipate and his eyes welled with tears. He made the realization that TK could die.  
‘He could be dead right now’, Carlos thought to himself, forcing back the urge to cry hysterically. 

He sat on the porch step and his mind began racing. He began to think that if he only would have checked on the homeowners before TK arrived, none of this would have happened. If he would have checked on them, TK would not have gone in there and got shot. He completely blamed himself and was about to break down when Bree came over.

“Carlos, our shift ends in 20 minutes and we still have to get Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman back home” she said. 

Carlos so desperately wanted to follow behind the ambulance. He could almost see himself following it and walking TK’s stretcher all the way in to the hospital, but he remembered the oath he took as a police officer and that he had to finish his shift as it was his civic duty. He knew TK would want him to as well, so he got up without saying one word, got in the car, and drove well over the speed limit to get the Ackermans home. His heart was broken that he couldn’t be with TK in this moment.

After arriving back at the station to get his car, still not saying a word to Bree or anyone else, Carlos walked emotionless through the employee lot.  
He got in his car and started the engine. Hearing the engine roar...hearing anything, made him think of hearing that gunshot and think of TK getting shot.  
TK — sweet, caring, and perfect TK who only wanted to help others was shot and could be dying or dead at this moment. He didn’t deserve any of this. He only deserved to be happy and feel love...true love that Carlos knew he could give him.

Why?!” Carlos said to the empty darkness of his car.

“WHY?!” again

“DAMNIT WHY?!” again

“WHYYYYYY?!” He screamed like a wounded animal, his voice reaching a completely different octave.

Officer Carlos Reyes finally let out all he’d been feeling for the past hour, he let it all out and collapsed against the steering wheel, hysterically sobbing all alone in his car.

Don't forget to click ‘Next Chapter’ to read the other two parts of the story!  
Hope y’all enjoyed!  
~Zachary


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the events of S1E8 where TK gets shot. Begins during Episode 8, ends before episode 9. Carlos is planning to tell TK he loves him, but TK is shot Michelle helps Carlos realize how much he and TK truly have in common. We also get a first glimpse into Carlos’s past and his insecurities.

Part 2:  
(Part 2 is MOSTLY Carlos POV but shows some other people’s POV as well)-

The drive from the station to the hospital was the most agonizing and long drive Carlos had ever taken. It was only 15 minutes but it felt like forever. Carlos knew he’d have to stop crying once he got there so he took a bunch of deep breaths and attempted to think of happy times. But, each time he’d think of something, he’d relate it back to TK and cry again.

“Arrived at 1201 West 38th Street”, Siri’s loud voice in the mapquest startled him. 

Carlos had been raised in Austin and definitely knew his way around but he did not trust his instincts in the least at this moment, so he knew it was in his best interest to use a mapping app. The parking lot was nearly empty other than the cars of the 126 crew and a few others he didn’t recognize. Carlos found a parking spot and sat in his car to gather himself. As he was about to get out, a figure walked towards his car and knocked on the window. Michelle.

Carlos instantly felt tears run down his face. He got out of the car and was face to face with his best friend who was now casually dressed in a black shirt and jeans with her hair down.

“Oh god Carlos, My phone was dead and I couldn’t text you” she said as she hugged him

“How is he?” Carlos asked, his voice shaking horribly

“We were able to save him and re-inflate his lung. I just talked to the doctor. The blood transfusions and the surgery were both successful and he’s breathing on his own and with oxygen, but...”

“But what?”

“His brain activity is normal, but he’s in a coma and still hasn’t woken up. They won’t know if there’s any brain damage until then” she said

“Brain damage?” more tears.

“Well not necessarily but because of the extent of the injuries and the amount of blood lost, they won’t know until he wakes up.”

“Oh god. No. Please, no!” Carlos said as he fell to his knees crying.

Michelle pleaded with him “Carlos, Carlos! Look at me, I know you’re worried but he needs you to be positive for him, we all do.”

“But it’s my fault!” he cried

“Sweetie, what makes you think it’s your fault? It’s not!” Michelle said, a bit perplexed.

“I knew they had the gun and I forgot” he says on the ground through his tears “If I would’ve just checked on the homeowners, or if I would’ve just told TK they had a gun”.

“Carlos! You can’t blame yourself for what a scared little boy with a gun did. No one could’ve known. Anyone in that situation would’ve assumed they put the gun away after that man left. Stop blaming yourself.”

Carlos looked up from the ground at Michelle as he was still shaking like a scared little dog.

“It wasn’t your fault” she said “TK is fighting for his life and he needs your support. I’ll help you up, let’s go in and we can pray in the chapel”.

Carlos let out a slight smile of gratitude and extended his hand out. He was so proud of Michelle for being so resilient after just hours of discovering her sister’s apparent death. They hugged very tight and began to walk.

They walked into the hospital. He hated the hospital, the last time Carlos had been there was actually to see Michelle when the ambulance had crashed last month during a hazmat situation. The two most important people in his life had been in the hospital in the past month.  
He felt so powerless. He hadn’t felt this powerless in a long time...probably since the time his Abuelita declared that the whole family was was to disown him when he came out. 

Paul was in the chapel when Michelle and Carlos arrived.

“Last time I stepped into a church was the day I started hormone treatments.” Paul said “I had to come for TK. He’s such a good person. He didn’t deserve this.”

Carlos began to get tears in his eyes again. Michelle saw him about to break down again and was shocked. In the whole time she’d known Carlos, Michelle had seen him cry maybe three times. But he already had ‘broken the record’ in a 5 hour span. She knew by the stories that Carlos thought so much of TK, but she never fully understood until that moment. She then realized to herself ‘I don’t think he’s told anyone else about TK and him’ so she quickly tried to sugarcoat it to Paul.

“It’s ok, Michelle” Carlos said while regaining his composure. “He knows, we hung out with him together last month”.

There was an awkward silence in the chapel for a long while and then Carlos said  
“I was gonna tell him how I feel.”

He continued,  
“I was gonna tell him I loved him. I was gonna be the kind of man he never had.”

Michelle and Paul sat in silence listening to him...

“There’s so much I wanted to say to him. What if I never get to?!” he said

“You still can!” Michelle said “Be positive that he’s going to make it. He’s so resilient, he’ll come back out of this just fine. He’s a fighter, Carlos, that boy’s a survivor.”

“I could’ve told him sooner but I was too scared”

“Too scared of what?” she asked

“Too scared of getting rejected again” he said as he sniffled “I love him...he’s the man that I love, and I’m afraid that he’ll reject me and I can’t deal with that again! My own family disowned me. I always felt like nobody wanted me. Becoming a cop saved my life and I’ve been in a great place these past few years, I can’t go back to the way I was, and I will if he rejects me too.”

“What? Why do you think he’ll reject you? Paul asked

“Because he told me after his last relationship went south that he wasn’t ready to jump into things.”  
He continued, “If I come on too strong, he’ll never have a chance to feel the same”.

Michelle let out a slight snicker “well honey, that makes a lot more sense now, don’t you realize that he has the same fears as you do about rejection? He’s too afraid to jump into a relationship and you’re too afraid to lose one.”

Carlos was shocked. He never thought of it that way! Could it be that he and TK were sharing the same mentality about being rejected? He never realized it. He always thought that he was pushing too hard, but the truth was that he just related to TK so much and grew to love him so much that he didn’t want him to ever have to experience the pain he did before. Carlos realized in that moment that the reason TK ‘wasn’t ready’ was for the same reason that he WAS.

“Michelle Blake” he smiled as his tears continued to flow down his face “You have done it again”.

She looked slightly confused “what do you mean?”

He explained to her exactly what she already knew he had felt his whole life and how much he unknowingly related to TK.

“I just don’t want him to ever feel what I had felt and when his ex made him feel and how he felt after he relapsed with substances—“

“What?” Paul asked “I didn’t know he had a substance issue in the first place?”

“Oh, I thought he told everyone” Carlos said “did you know?” he asked Michelle

“I only knew cause Owen just told me tonight in the ambulance. But he said he was the only other one that knew. How did you know?” Michelle asked

“He told me at the police station one night and we’ve talked about it and how he’s doing staying sober over dinner a few times.” Carlos said

“And you don’t think he might love you too?” She laughed “If you’re the only other person he told, that must mean he feels comfortable and safe with you. That sounds a lot like love to me. And you heard him in that house, didn’t you? I couldn’t tell at first because he was coughing so badly but he was asking for you Carlos, he was trying to move his head to look at you, it’s almost like he thought it was the end and wanted to see you one last time.”

“Oh my god” Carlos said with more tears, but this time they were a different kind of tears. Carlos had never felt this feeling before. It felt like feeling the sun for the first time after being deprived of it for far too long. It felt like home. A home that he’d never knew existed. Like a missing puzzle piece finally being found. He had to see him.

“I have to go see him” Carlos said as he stood up.

Michelle smiled from ear to ear for the first time since finding out about her sister. She loved seeing her best friend finally discovering himself.

“I’m going to stay here and pray some more.” She said “Paul, you should go up with him and see if Marjan came back with that coffee you were talking about”  
she said, really wanting to spend some time alone to pray for TK and continue to process everything about Iris.

Paul went back upstairs and Carlos promised to meet him up there to see TK in five minutes. He spent that time thanking Michelle for helping him realize what he really was feeling; the biggest connection he had ever felt with anyone, he was in love with Tyler Kennedy Strand.

Don't forget to click ‘Next Chapter’ to view Part 3 of the story!  
Hope Y’all Enjoyed!  
~Zachary


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the events of S1E8 where TK gets shot. Begins during Episode 8, ends before episode 9. Carlos is planning to tell TK he loves him, but TK is shot Michelle helps Carlos realize how much he and TK truly have in common. We also get a first glimpse into Carlos’s past and his insecurities.

Part 3:  
(Part 3 is MOSTLY Carlos POV, but shows some other people’s POV as well)-

With each step he took after he got off the elevator, Carlos felt sicker and sicker, so scared to see TK in the hospital room. He had felt heartbreak so many times before, but this, as he thought it ‘this was a different kind of heartbreak’.  
At least it would be better than the last time, anything would be better than the last time. He got towards TK’s room, 208 and saw the whole 126 gathered around the waiting area.

Marjan had just arrived minutes before with Coffees for everyone and was standing with Paul and Tim. Judd, Mateo, and Gillian were sitting in chairs, looking exhausted. They all smiled at him and Paul pointed to the room. All Carlos could see from where he was standing was a blue blanket and Owen sitting in a chair.

Carlos slowly made his way towards the room.  
As he approached the doorway, his heart sank. Seeing TK like that broke him. He hated seeing TK in the hospital gown with the IV, wires, and oxygen tube around him.

He could see Owen was trying to get TK to grasp his hand without any success. He told himself he wasn’t going to cry again, but suddenly let out a loud sniffle.

Owen quickly turned around and saw Carlos standing there.

“Officer Reyes -- ?” he said, still a bit confused.

Carlos didn’t respond but Owen took a closer look at him. He was visibly crying, and appeared to have ‘ugly cried’ earlier by the redness of his face. After seeing this, everything made sense to Owen. The nights TK was out late and came home overly happy, or the nights he didn’t come home at all, all of it. Whatever he wasn’t aware of before all clicked into place.

“Would you like some time with him?” Owen asked

“I don’t want to impose” Carlos said, getting choked up, barely able to finish his words.

“No, I think...uh..I think he’d appreciate it, I know I would” Owen said as he pat Carlos on the back before walking out.

Carlos sat down, his tears slowly drying on his face as his lips quivered seeing TK like that. He began to think about how much TK had really taught him about himself and how much he never wanted to be away from him again. He thought back to their very first time meeting on the call in the rain. To that night at the police station when he wiped the blood off of TK’s face. He had to go to the bathroom and bawl after that moment because he felt like he’d known TK forever and felt so much for him in that moment, more than he’d ever felt for anyone else, and thanks to Michelle, he now realized why. He thought about the first time they were intimate together on that couch in his house. What he wouldn’t give to be back there with TK right now and not here. Anywhere but here. He thought about all the other times they were together and all the other dates they’d had. He didn’t know what they were, but he knew he wanted more...he wanted HIM.

He started by saying “hey tiger” and felt a big pit start to form in his stomach when the only response he received was dead silence other than the machines beeping. He put a hand on TK’s face and slowly caressed it, beginning to run his hands through TK’s hair. It wasn’t enough, he wanted TK, he wanted to make sure that if he could hear or feel anything, that he knew he was there and was never leaving his side again. He put his hand near the top of TK’s arm and firmly held it there, running his thumb over the muscles and fighting back tears yet again.

Then he felt a hand on the back of his shoulder. Paul. He looked back and saw him, Marjan, and Mateo in the room. He continued caressing TK’s face as they all sat in the quiet room sending their thoughts toward TK. After what seemed like forever, Paul said  
“Come on guys, it’s late, we should get some rest”

“I think I’m gonna stay” Carlos said “I’m off tomorrow and I really want to spend some time alone with him.”

“Ok, I understand.” Paul said 

“Please try to get some rest.” Marjan told him “Judd and Grace are in the waiting room if you need them.” she said and they closed the door to the room. Carlos was alone with TK so he began to speak his mind

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t follow the ambulance here. I had to stay true to my oath. I knew you’d want me to too. I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but you have to be ok. I’ve spent my whole life searching for you, look, I know you don’t want to rush into things with me but I just need you to know that I will wait for you as long as you need me to.”

He told TK about his childhood and all of the heartbreak it ended in, he told him about all his ex-boyfriends, about why and how he got his job, and how Michelle helped him realize how much he related to him, not caring at all whether TK could hear him or not.

“Oh TK” he said “Michelle told me you were asking for me when you got shot, I’m here now and I need you, I don’t really know what we are but I know I want more. I want to be with you. I want to make you feel safe. I want to love you, I can’t lose you, not after such a short time, not now, not ever. It’s not enough. I want to show you what love is and I want you to make me feel what love is too, because I love you, TK, I love you Tyler, and I will never stop, so please come back to us, come back to me, because I want to be your boyfriend whenever you’re ready. I don’t want you to leave us...I don’t want you to leave ME, cause I love you and I’ll never be ready to say goodbye. I need someone who will be there for me, I need someone to talk to, I need someone who will laugh at my jokes even when they’re not funny, and that’s you. You’re that someone, TK. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you all the time in the world if you need it, but I need you to know I love you. I love you, and all I can give to you, I will, I promise. I’ve been so scared to tell you cause I didn’t want to get rejected and destroy what we already had cause I cherished it, I cherished us, I cherished YOU, I couldn’t lose that, but now I could lose you forever and I can’t have that. I need you. I love you and I need to you to come back to me and be ok, tiger.”  
He fought back tears  
“Please. TK. I need you to be ok. Please.”

Then the tears started up again, Carlos wondered what was becoming of him, but then he realized that after all this time, that this was what truly happens when you fall in love with someone. He scooted the chair closer and collapsed onto the unharmed side of TK’s chest, beginning to hysterically cry again. The ‘ugly cry’ where you can’t breathe. He hated when that happened.

“You just have to be ok. I love you. I love you so much. Please.”

He then felt another hand on his back and turned around startled.

“I’m so sorry, Captain Strand...I...I”

“I know.” Owen said “It’s ok, I know everything. Michelle got called away by Sanctuary Hearts earlier but she told me all of it before she left”.

“She did?” Carlos asked astonished, through his tears “How long have you been in here?”

“Long enough to know how much you truly love my son” he said “and I’ll tell you, my son is a very secretive man so I knew none of this, but I do know him better than just about anyone, especially better than his mother”

Carlos smiled a little, knowing how Gwyneth could be based on what TK told him...

Owen continued “I know how he acts when he is feeling something for someone, and I haven’t seen him as happy as he was those mornings he’d come home after being out all night since before he was with Alex. I guess those nights were spent with you.”

“Yeah” Carlos said quietly

“Well” Owen said “I didn’t put it together until I saw you walk in here tonight and then I talked to Michelle. After that, it all made sense. How he acted around you, how he acted those mornings, all of it.” He said with tears also beginning to well up in his eyes.  
“Michelle told me how nervous you were that TK wouldn’t feel the same way about you, and I can’t speak for what he was; or wasn’t; feeling that night with you at your house, but let me tell you something, Officer Re—Carlos. As of now, there is no doubt in my mind that he loves you just as much as you love him if not even more. He so desperately needs someone to be his safe space, and I believe he’s finally found it with you. I know him, and I know he’ll be able to be that safe space for you too.”

Carlos was floored. Now there was no doubt in HIS mind that TK felt the same way and now he HAD to wake up so they could begin a real relationship.

“Uhh..I don’t know what to say” Carlos said with happy tears running down his face

“You don’t need to say anything, you just keep taking care of my son.“ Owen replied

“I always will, Captain Str—“

“Oh for gods sake, call me Owen”. He said with a hopeful smile.

Carlos laughed slightly, “I wasn’t gonna ask this at first, but can I stay here tonight?” he asked hesitantly

“I don’t see why not, I know he’d want you here”. Owen told him

“Ok, I’ll go get another chair from the waiting room” Carlos said

“That won’t be necessary, I know we don’t know each other well, but I trust Michelle’s judgement more than my own sometimes, don’t tell her but I kinda like her”  
he laughed  
“so I completely trust you with him. I never fully trusted Alex, I was only being supportive for my son, but I’ve always had this sense of trust for you, Carlos. Guess I know why now. Listen, I have a Chemo treatment in the morning that can’t be rescheduled and need to get some sleep, plus someone’s gotta take care of Buttercup tonight while his new best friend is in the hospital”. Owen said

“Owen I—“

“Again, You don’t need to say anything, it’s what TK would want. Don’t ever doubt it again.” he replied before dimming the light and heading out the door “try to get some sleep tonight yourself” he said. “Thank you for not giving up on my son.”

After Owen left, Carlos, still in his police uniform, took off his belt, badge, and shoes, and carefully curled in the hospital bed next to TK. He began to think back their second date at his house the day before they took Paul out to the club. He thought about how he was the first person TK told about his dad’s cancer and realized that TK had always felt something special with him if he shared such personal feelings with him. He knew now more than ever that he wanted to be with TK forever. He knew he could be TK’s safe space, and now from what Owen had made him understand, TK could be his safe space too. He also knew that this time, being loyal to a fault would help him instead of hurting him. Carlos held TK as tight as he could. He just wanted him to wake up and hold him too, that would make everything better, that would make everything right in the world. As he thought about it, Carlos, in his head, could hear Michelle’s beautiful singing voice singing her favorite song as she’d often done.  
‘I only hope that you can hold me now; Til I can gain control again.’ 

He felt those words so much in that moment.

“Please wake up. Please be Ok, I love you. I love you TK” he said as he drifted off to sleep next to him “always tiger, always”.  
Carlos proved his love during the next week, he used up all of his vacation days to be at TK’s side waiting for him to wake up, even having Michelle bring his necessities so he didn’t have to leave him, and one week after getting shot... March 9th, 2020, TK Strand opened his eyes and immediately said one word... “Carlos”.

Thank y’all so much for reading! Depending on the events of the finale, I might make a Part 4+, but if not, you’ll definitely get some more Tarlos stories from me!  
~Zachary


End file.
